Saturday 23 October 2010

The Further Adventures of Why?Boy

Scene 23: Int. A room inside the Statue of Liberty’s torch

Super-villain, A’Po Strophe, is with his back to the camera. He works at a huge, old fashioned console, all flashing lights and spinning magnetic tapes. He pulls levers and twists dials. Why?Boy flies in through a window.

A’Po Strophe (spots Why?Boy and cackles):

You’re too late Why?Boy, one pull of this lever and the ten thermonuclear devices I have planted under Yellowstone Park will explode, causing the super volcano beneath to erupt in a cataclysmic blast that will decimate continental America and plunge the world into a nuclear winter from which it shall struggle to recover (more laughter).

Why?Boy:

Why?

A’Po Strophe (manically):

Why? Because my demands were not met. One billion dollars by noon today. Well the President has crossed me for the last time. Now he shall know my wrath.

Why?Boy:

Why?

A’Po Strophe:

Because the world shall pay attention to me.

Why?Boy:

Why?

A’Po Strophe:

Because I crave attention.

Why?Boy:

Why?

A’Po Strophe (less confidently):

Well because I was starved of it as a child, I guess.

Why?Boy:

Why?

A’Po Strophe (sitting down on a stool):

Well my father was quite aloof, you know.

Why?Boy:

Why?

A’Po Strophe:

Well it wasn’t his fault, it was just that men of his generation were brought up in a certain way.

Why?Boy:

Why?

The US Marines storm the room at this point, training their rifles on A’Po Strophe.

A’Po Strophe:

Curse you Why?Boy, foiled again. But remember, there is no prison in the world impenetrable to the great A’Po Strophe.

General Pause (removing a Havana cigar from his mouth):

That’s why we’re going to fry you in the electric chair. Take him away Sergeant. Well done Why?Boy, thanks to your incessant questioning the world is once again free to be exploited by the United States Government.

Why?Boy:

Why?

General Pause:

Because A’Po Strophe has been taken into our custody son. You just saw us do it.

Why?Boy:
 
Why?

General Pause:

Why, because he wanted to destroy the world.

Why?Boy:

Why?

General Pause:

Oh Sweet Holy Mother of Jesus, this is gonna go on all day. Clear the area men, he’s caught in a loop again.

End Scene

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